Today, Ash Wednesday, I "sat on a death." I went to the home of a Fulani woman whose husband had died. He was in his 30's and unexpectedly left behind 3 small children.
There is much to learn from a culture by the way they live but also by how they respond to death. While the other tribes around us wail loudly, flailing their arms about in dramatic theatrics when someone they know dies, the Fulani are reserved. They strive to be dignified. They are also hopeless and fatalistic: "What can we do? It is Allah's will."
As we sat with the women on the dirt floor of the house, my mind and heart lingered on the phrase "ash to ash and dust to dust" for today is Ash Wednesday. For my non-liturgical friends, this means it is the first day of Lent- the season of preparation before Easter.
Many of us are uncomfortable with Lent. For a long time, I looked down on it as the kind of works based practice from which Jesus has freed me. But the true emphasis of Lent is not what I can do (give up bathing, chocolate, Youtube, etc). Instead, it is preparing for the celebration of what He did. Before I celebrated Lent, Easter would often sneak up on me. I spent more time thinking of marshmallow birdies and a new dress than the awe of Easter. But before we can celebrate the resurrection, we need to remember the cross and the reason Jesus was crucified. Lent is a chance to remember the dark before the dawn. To sit with our sins. To appreciate the need for a Savior. To remember that there are still people in need of the Savior.
Really until this year, until I "sat on a death," Lent has always been about me, me, me. But as I sat with the family of a man that returned to the dust, my heart was heavy for them and our other Fulani friends that only know darkness. Oh how I pray they will come to know the joy of the Easter resurrection.
This Lent, as you reflect on Easter, please join me in praying for our Fulani friends.
Banyo
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
A very merry Christmas
A lot of people have asked how we spent Christmas here in the Central African Republic, well I will tell you....
Yes, we had a Christmas tree! It was left over from the days when the Swedes were here. It had ornaments made from Fulani ladies/
The Sunday before Christmas, all of the missionaries sang in church. We sang in English and Sango and even had two recorders and a guitar to accompany us. Josh played drums. It was very tame compared to the normal African singing in church! In the afternoon, we went and caroled at the hospital. We also gave out soap and sardines to the patients- probably not your typical Christmas gifts, but those are things they really appreciate.
On Christmas eve, 42 missionaries gathered for a smorgasbord dinner! There was a table in every room!
On Christmas morning, I made homemade doughnuts!
Then we opened presents- mainly Charlie opened presents. We were able to get a few things here for her- mostly cheap junk,but she loved it!
When Charlie saw this bag, she pointed to Belle and said, "Mommy!'
Here she is in all of her dress up glory!
On Christmas night, all the missionaries gathered again for desserts and a white elephant exchange. I got cheese from France! SO excited about that because cheese is precious around here!
There was a lot less hustle and bustle than usual and we missed our friends and families, but all in all, we had a great Christmas full of fellowship, fun, and time to remember the "reason for the season."
Yes, we had a Christmas tree! It was left over from the days when the Swedes were here. It had ornaments made from Fulani ladies/
The Sunday before Christmas, all of the missionaries sang in church. We sang in English and Sango and even had two recorders and a guitar to accompany us. Josh played drums. It was very tame compared to the normal African singing in church! In the afternoon, we went and caroled at the hospital. We also gave out soap and sardines to the patients- probably not your typical Christmas gifts, but those are things they really appreciate.
On Christmas eve, 42 missionaries gathered for a smorgasbord dinner! There was a table in every room!
On Christmas morning, I made homemade doughnuts!
Then we opened presents- mainly Charlie opened presents. We were able to get a few things here for her- mostly cheap junk,but she loved it!
When Charlie saw this bag, she pointed to Belle and said, "Mommy!'
Here she is in all of her dress up glory!
On Christmas night, all the missionaries gathered again for desserts and a white elephant exchange. I got cheese from France! SO excited about that because cheese is precious around here!
There was a lot less hustle and bustle than usual and we missed our friends and families, but all in all, we had a great Christmas full of fellowship, fun, and time to remember the "reason for the season."
Friday, December 7, 2012
Thanksgiving
I know this is late, but just wanted to share how we celebrated Thanksgiving here in Africa!
There were almost 30 of us- including 7 kids under age 5! We had tons and tons of food!
Here is Timote about to dive into his plateful of food
Charlie had her fill too!
We had 11 pies for dessert!
Everyone played with the newest pet on the compound- Elijah!
We has a wonderful, thankful, tasty Thanksgiving!
And here is another Charlie picture for the grandparents!
There were almost 30 of us- including 7 kids under age 5! We had tons and tons of food!
Here is Timote about to dive into his plateful of food
Charlie had her fill too!
We had 11 pies for dessert!
Everyone played with the newest pet on the compound- Elijah!
We has a wonderful, thankful, tasty Thanksgiving!
And here is another Charlie picture for the grandparents!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
confessions part 2
Here is another missionary confession....
We have someone that cooks and cleans for us 6 days a week and another person that watches Charlie 6 days a week.
Missionaries are supposed to be rugged, hard working, and most importantly poor, right?! In the States, pretty much the only people I know that have a maid live in pristine gated communities and have a lot of excess cash. And the only person I know that has a personal chef is Oprah.
House-workers, or as I like to call them- coworkers, are a very complex issue. One that I still struggle with. Some days I feel like I am living the movie "The Help" and other days I feel like we have a beautiful relationship.
Again the book I am reading, "What You Can't Leave Behind:A Rookie Missionary’s Life in Africa" has been very helpful with this issue. Ryan J. Murphy, the author, rightly points out that there is an expectation by the community for us to share our wealth with them and one way is by employing local workers. Hiring workers helps to make inroads in the community. Not employing workers would come across as selfish and insensitive.
Wages here are appalling compared to U.S. standards. The government actually has categories for workers with not only minimum, but salary maximums! (Although we can add a "tip" on, which we do.) In America, you would probably pay around $10 an hour or more for a babysitter (and I have no idea what a personal chef would cost!!) Here, workers make about $0.50 an hour. Disgusting, I know. But before you accuse of running a sweat shop Kathy Lee style, we cannot pay more for the good or our co-workers and the community. If we payed $15 an hour, their lives would change dramatically for the worse. Their relatives might quite working and try to mooch off them. In the African culture, you have access to your relatives' money. Our workers would have to share, they would have no choice. They would also stick out like a sore thumb with the changes in wardrobe and lifestyle that would result from more money. They would be a target for theft, vandalism, and possibly violence. In Africa, the nail that sticks out gets hammered down. In addition, other workers would be outraged that they were not making as much as our workers. They would be angry with our workers, with their employers, and with us. Lastly, it would damage the balance of the economy. Even if we could afford to pay $15 an hour (which we can't), African employers can't pay that much either.
This is definitely a complex issue and an awkward one at times, but I am thankful God brought Bonard and Freidaline into our lives.
Bonard and Freidaline are a wonderfully sweet married couple. Bonard does the cooking and Friedaline does the Charlie wrangling.
Everything in Africa takes forever and rarely does it go smoothly. All food is made from scratch- you even have to grind your own meat. There are no dishwashers or dryers. Dishes are hand washed and clothes need to be put out on the line- including the cloth diapers. This is a time consuming lifestyle that could take away hours everyday from our focus if not for Bonard and Freidaline. We would not be able to study our languages or pray with sick patients or fix computers, we would barely have enough time to survive. Bonard and Friedaline are essential support for us. They are more than just employees, they are our co-workers. Because they do what they do, we can do what we do!
We try to make sure they know that too. We make an effort to treat them as equals- as coworkers. They lunch at the table with us everyday. They help us with Sango and we teach them a little English. Yesterday, they learned "Today, I ate sloppy Joes." And man can Bonard make some awesome sloppy joes. They bring us gifts and we give them gifts. When they or someone in their family is sick, we go to visit. We laugh together a lot. And I try really hard not to be like Tilly!
But the best part about having Bonard and Friedaline in our lives is that Charlie LOVES them. I mean LOVES them. They have become her second parents and they spoil her like grandparents. When they arrive in the morning she yells "Bobo" and runs full force into their legs to give them a hug. Friedaline is so good about teaching Charlie Sango. She will count windows or toys in Sango and repeat words over and over for Charlie. She is like a personal preschool teacher!
I feel blessed to have them in our lives and I hope they feel the same!
Confession part 1
Time for a missionary confession... I like stuff.
In the last week, I have had two dreams about shopping. In one, I walked through Target. I strolled through each and every department. Oh how I longed for the clearance section, the cute home decor items, and the candy isle. I woke up grumpy with an unquenched shopping craving. Then a few days later I had another dream that my sister and I went shopping the day after Thanksgiving. Again, I woke up wanting stuff, cheap stuff, and the thrill of the hunt.
But alas, this Thanksgiving there will be no searching the ads, waiting in line at midnight, or hunting for door-busters for me. I am trying to be alright with that. You see I like stuff and I like shopping. I know missionaries are supposed to be holy people that live in mud huts and never complain that they have an ugly yellow and brown curtain in their bathroom, well I hate to burst your bubble but I am still the same me that loves to shop and color coordinate.
Missionaries are often unfairly put on a pedestal. I am reading this book called, "What You Can't Leave Behind:A Rookie Missionary’s Life in Africa." It has been so helpful. In it, the author talks about when he first became a Christian and what he thought missionaries were like. Here is his impression:
"They were the monks of the Protestant world, in my mind. I pictured them with noses in Bibles and leading their children around like docile lambs and speaking in hushed whispers about the hundreds of conversions that they saw each week. If there wasn't a halo or aura hovering overhead, then it was only because I was too sinful to see it."
Ha! I have dreams about Target and every time I walk into our bathroom I think, "Hello, 1970's called and it wants its curtain back." Here is the truth- missionaries are just normal people. God just happened to call us somewhere and we went- and we arrived with all of our idiosyncrasies and issues. Now you know. So if God calls you too, don't worry about all of your junk because God can still use you!
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Trust wall
When we arrived at our new house, on one wall there was a 6 foot long
reed mat. Most missionaries use it to hang pictures of family and
friends. We brought our pictures digitally, so for a few weeks it just
hung there bare. Then I had an idea, I would make it a "trust wall."
You see I am in the phase of culture shock called "withdraw," or as I
like to call it "blah." The four stages of culture shock are the
honeymoon, anger, withdraw, and acceptance. We are in the awkward stage
of language learning when you can say a few phrases and understand bits
and pieces, but by no means can you carry on a full conversation, let
alone one of importance. So it is tempting to retreat and watch American
movies or dream of eating sushi.
To bring myself back to reality and learn to trust God more, I made the
"trust wall." On it I have put little sticky notes to remind me of ways
God has blessed us since we have been here. The idea is to remember what
He has done and have confidence that I can trust Him with whatever
happens today.
An example of a note on the wall is one that says "eggs." When we first
got to Gamboula, I didn't know how to go about getting food and we don't
have a car to drive us to the market. One morning I prayed, "Please
Lord, bring someone to my door who is selling eggs." Everyday people
come and sell fruit and vegetables, but no one had ever brought eggs.
That day someone came with eggs!
Yesterday I added 2 more notes!
For the last month, there has been a young, female, medical student here
working at the hospital. It was such a blessing to have someone my age
to pal around with. Yesterday, she left a few weeks early. I was really
bummed. Withdraw set in again. We love all of the other missionaries on
the station here, but they joke that we moved to the "retirement home."
There is just something about having friends your own age, especially in
a foreign land when you already feel so different. You just want someone
that understands you. Not an hour passed after she left that we heard
the Huntleys were coming to visit for the day! They are a young couple
with 2 little boys that live about 2 hours away. It was so great to have
lunch with them and talk while our kids played together! I intend to
make sure we hang out as much as possible! The Huntleys have made the board!
The other note says, "English lessons." Josh and I have been talking
about what we want to do when we can communicate. I say, "Something with
kids." It is frustrating to be so close physically to the people we
desire to work with, but yet so far linguistically. But God surprised me
again! He literally brought two boys to my door- who wanted me to tutor
them in English a few times a week. It is great- I get to work with kids
and they can help me learn Sango. God can still use me even though I
only know Sango "kete kete" (a little).
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own
understanding. In all of your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make
your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
reed mat. Most missionaries use it to hang pictures of family and
friends. We brought our pictures digitally, so for a few weeks it just
hung there bare. Then I had an idea, I would make it a "trust wall."
You see I am in the phase of culture shock called "withdraw," or as I
like to call it "blah." The four stages of culture shock are the
honeymoon, anger, withdraw, and acceptance. We are in the awkward stage
of language learning when you can say a few phrases and understand bits
and pieces, but by no means can you carry on a full conversation, let
alone one of importance. So it is tempting to retreat and watch American
movies or dream of eating sushi.
To bring myself back to reality and learn to trust God more, I made the
"trust wall." On it I have put little sticky notes to remind me of ways
God has blessed us since we have been here. The idea is to remember what
He has done and have confidence that I can trust Him with whatever
happens today.
An example of a note on the wall is one that says "eggs." When we first
got to Gamboula, I didn't know how to go about getting food and we don't
have a car to drive us to the market. One morning I prayed, "Please
Lord, bring someone to my door who is selling eggs." Everyday people
come and sell fruit and vegetables, but no one had ever brought eggs.
That day someone came with eggs!
Yesterday I added 2 more notes!
For the last month, there has been a young, female, medical student here
working at the hospital. It was such a blessing to have someone my age
to pal around with. Yesterday, she left a few weeks early. I was really
bummed. Withdraw set in again. We love all of the other missionaries on
the station here, but they joke that we moved to the "retirement home."
There is just something about having friends your own age, especially in
a foreign land when you already feel so different. You just want someone
that understands you. Not an hour passed after she left that we heard
the Huntleys were coming to visit for the day! They are a young couple
with 2 little boys that live about 2 hours away. It was so great to have
lunch with them and talk while our kids played together! I intend to
make sure we hang out as much as possible! The Huntleys have made the board!
The other note says, "English lessons." Josh and I have been talking
about what we want to do when we can communicate. I say, "Something with
kids." It is frustrating to be so close physically to the people we
desire to work with, but yet so far linguistically. But God surprised me
again! He literally brought two boys to my door- who wanted me to tutor
them in English a few times a week. It is great- I get to work with kids
and they can help me learn Sango. God can still use me even though I
only know Sango "kete kete" (a little).
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own
understanding. In all of your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make
your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Josh speaks again!
So I hijacked another email from Josh to his parents. I thought it would be nice for you to hear another perspective of our life in Gamboula! But like any good wife, I will add my two cents in here and there!
Sorry guys for not communicating! It has been a little crazy here. I've been very involved in fixing the mass hysteria known as their computer systems here. I've looked at over 30 computers, removed viruses, fixed power supplies, updated service packs, and on and on and on... They need lots of work. I've also gotten very involved in the new properties power systems. We are building a hybrid solar/diesel power plant with 12volt and 220 volt power. It's a bit crazy especially considering the budget size. Our own hydro plant here is having a few issues as well and I've been doing lots of research on how to fix it along with Luke. (Luke is another missionary here in Gamboula)We've got some super fancy diagnostic equipment here from Younde that will hopefully let us fine tune it. I've got so many stories I don't know where to start. Maybe I'll just summarize:
1. I got to be present in the operating room to watch a lady get a hysterectomy. It was so hot in there I had to walk out about half way through.
2. I went on a long hike from our compound to the new property the other day with Ben (teacher age 22) and Alisa (doctor age 24).
3. We have lunch everyday with our house help and babysitter. Lori is speaking Sango well and I'm mostly cheating by speaking in French.
4. I drove for the first time in Africa the other day. SCARY!! I got yelled at by a police officer for parking too close to the center of town but by the grace of God didn't have to pay any fines.
5. I saw a lady try to slash another lady with an axe because she slept with her husband.
6. There are tons of super poisonous snakes all around this place. We seem to find 1-2 snakes per week a short distance from our house. They are commonly Green Mambas... One guy got bit the other day but it looks like no venom was injected.
7. I've been working with Luke a lot on the hospital systems including the photo spectrometer and their bleach maker. I've enjoyed learning from Luke!
8. There is a mysterious short in our electrical system that makes everything that touches our water supply get jacked up to 230 volts. It just comes and goes each night at around 5pm-7pm. Every house on the system gets energized... hope no one wants to shower then!
Emotionally we are doing well although today was a bit of a downer (Josh was tired). I'm sure tomorrow will be better. We are having fun with our friends Ben and Alisa playing games, watching movies, hiking, talking... actually lots of talking. They are fun southerners!
Charlotte is happy as a clam especially with all the attention she gets from Bonard and Fredoline (our hourhelp and nanny). She speaks better Sango than I do! The other day I couldn't remember the word for "tomorrow" and Charlotte yelled out kekekeke which is pretty close to the right work kekeleke. Sometimes she says things in Sango that we have to ask Fredoline what they mean. (she knows how to say- one, come, tomorrow, and hello in Sango!)
Lori and I were looking through our wedding pictures the other night. One thing is clear...we don't look that good anymore! It's been nice spending lots of time with Lori and Charlie, something that didn't happen as often in the states.
Pray that God gives us meaningful things that we can do while we learn the languages. It kind of stinks to be so restricted because we can't communicate well. We are learning at an alarming rate though. The tension of not being able to get a lot done each day is really bothering me. I know it is 'just the way Africa is', but when you calculate how much money we are spending just to be here, it makes the words "overhead" run constantly through my mind. Seeing all the good that comes out of this place and knowing that I'm part of it usually puts my concerns to rest though.
Write us and let us know how you are doing.
Love you,
Joshua
Sorry guys for not communicating! It has been a little crazy here. I've been very involved in fixing the mass hysteria known as their computer systems here. I've looked at over 30 computers, removed viruses, fixed power supplies, updated service packs, and on and on and on... They need lots of work. I've also gotten very involved in the new properties power systems. We are building a hybrid solar/diesel power plant with 12volt and 220 volt power. It's a bit crazy especially considering the budget size. Our own hydro plant here is having a few issues as well and I've been doing lots of research on how to fix it along with Luke. (Luke is another missionary here in Gamboula)We've got some super fancy diagnostic equipment here from Younde that will hopefully let us fine tune it. I've got so many stories I don't know where to start. Maybe I'll just summarize:
1. I got to be present in the operating room to watch a lady get a hysterectomy. It was so hot in there I had to walk out about half way through.
2. I went on a long hike from our compound to the new property the other day with Ben (teacher age 22) and Alisa (doctor age 24).
3. We have lunch everyday with our house help and babysitter. Lori is speaking Sango well and I'm mostly cheating by speaking in French.
4. I drove for the first time in Africa the other day. SCARY!! I got yelled at by a police officer for parking too close to the center of town but by the grace of God didn't have to pay any fines.
5. I saw a lady try to slash another lady with an axe because she slept with her husband.
6. There are tons of super poisonous snakes all around this place. We seem to find 1-2 snakes per week a short distance from our house. They are commonly Green Mambas... One guy got bit the other day but it looks like no venom was injected.
7. I've been working with Luke a lot on the hospital systems including the photo spectrometer and their bleach maker. I've enjoyed learning from Luke!
8. There is a mysterious short in our electrical system that makes everything that touches our water supply get jacked up to 230 volts. It just comes and goes each night at around 5pm-7pm. Every house on the system gets energized... hope no one wants to shower then!
Emotionally we are doing well although today was a bit of a downer (Josh was tired). I'm sure tomorrow will be better. We are having fun with our friends Ben and Alisa playing games, watching movies, hiking, talking... actually lots of talking. They are fun southerners!
Charlotte is happy as a clam especially with all the attention she gets from Bonard and Fredoline (our hourhelp and nanny). She speaks better Sango than I do! The other day I couldn't remember the word for "tomorrow" and Charlotte yelled out kekekeke which is pretty close to the right work kekeleke. Sometimes she says things in Sango that we have to ask Fredoline what they mean. (she knows how to say- one, come, tomorrow, and hello in Sango!)
Lori and I were looking through our wedding pictures the other night. One thing is clear...we don't look that good anymore! It's been nice spending lots of time with Lori and Charlie, something that didn't happen as often in the states.
Pray that God gives us meaningful things that we can do while we learn the languages. It kind of stinks to be so restricted because we can't communicate well. We are learning at an alarming rate though. The tension of not being able to get a lot done each day is really bothering me. I know it is 'just the way Africa is', but when you calculate how much money we are spending just to be here, it makes the words "overhead" run constantly through my mind. Seeing all the good that comes out of this place and knowing that I'm part of it usually puts my concerns to rest though.
Write us and let us know how you are doing.
Love you,
Joshua
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