Here is another missionary confession....
We have someone that cooks and cleans for us 6 days a week and another person that watches Charlie 6 days a week.
Missionaries are supposed to be rugged, hard working, and most importantly poor, right?! In the States, pretty much the only people I know that have a maid live in pristine gated communities and have a lot of excess cash. And the only person I know that has a personal chef is Oprah.
House-workers, or as I like to call them- coworkers, are a very complex issue. One that I still struggle with. Some days I feel like I am living the movie "The Help" and other days I feel like we have a beautiful relationship.
Again the book I am reading, "What You Can't Leave Behind:A Rookie Missionary’s Life in Africa" has been very helpful with this issue. Ryan J. Murphy, the author, rightly points out that there is an expectation by the community for us to share our wealth with them and one way is by employing local workers. Hiring workers helps to make inroads in the community. Not employing workers would come across as selfish and insensitive.
Wages here are appalling compared to U.S. standards. The government actually has categories for workers with not only minimum, but salary maximums! (Although we can add a "tip" on, which we do.) In America, you would probably pay around $10 an hour or more for a babysitter (and I have no idea what a personal chef would cost!!) Here, workers make about $0.50 an hour. Disgusting, I know. But before you accuse of running a sweat shop Kathy Lee style, we cannot pay more for the good or our co-workers and the community. If we payed $15 an hour, their lives would change dramatically for the worse. Their relatives might quite working and try to mooch off them. In the African culture, you have access to your relatives' money. Our workers would have to share, they would have no choice. They would also stick out like a sore thumb with the changes in wardrobe and lifestyle that would result from more money. They would be a target for theft, vandalism, and possibly violence. In Africa, the nail that sticks out gets hammered down. In addition, other workers would be outraged that they were not making as much as our workers. They would be angry with our workers, with their employers, and with us. Lastly, it would damage the balance of the economy. Even if we could afford to pay $15 an hour (which we can't), African employers can't pay that much either.
This is definitely a complex issue and an awkward one at times, but I am thankful God brought Bonard and Freidaline into our lives.
Bonard and Freidaline are a wonderfully sweet married couple. Bonard does the cooking and Friedaline does the Charlie wrangling.
Everything in Africa takes forever and rarely does it go smoothly. All food is made from scratch- you even have to grind your own meat. There are no dishwashers or dryers. Dishes are hand washed and clothes need to be put out on the line- including the cloth diapers. This is a time consuming lifestyle that could take away hours everyday from our focus if not for Bonard and Freidaline. We would not be able to study our languages or pray with sick patients or fix computers, we would barely have enough time to survive. Bonard and Friedaline are essential support for us. They are more than just employees, they are our co-workers. Because they do what they do, we can do what we do!
We try to make sure they know that too. We make an effort to treat them as equals- as coworkers. They lunch at the table with us everyday. They help us with Sango and we teach them a little English. Yesterday, they learned "Today, I ate sloppy Joes." And man can Bonard make some awesome sloppy joes. They bring us gifts and we give them gifts. When they or someone in their family is sick, we go to visit. We laugh together a lot. And I try really hard not to be like Tilly!
But the best part about having Bonard and Friedaline in our lives is that Charlie LOVES them. I mean LOVES them. They have become her second parents and they spoil her like grandparents. When they arrive in the morning she yells "Bobo" and runs full force into their legs to give them a hug. Friedaline is so good about teaching Charlie Sango. She will count windows or toys in Sango and repeat words over and over for Charlie. She is like a personal preschool teacher!
I feel blessed to have them in our lives and I hope they feel the same!
Hey Lori! Thinking of you! Thanks for sharing your honest confessions! (I share a Target fetish and have to limit myself to one trip a month, even here...)
ReplyDeleteI wanted to comment on this post, though, because your relationship with your coworkers here reminds me a bit of my family's relationship with their own "help." My mom was one of five siblings and her mother had hired servants. Here in the south, yes, and they were of a different race. And although I don't condone the situation then or the attitudes, since my mother's death I've found out some things that I didn't know before and that have made me think differently about them. When my mom was growing up, Fannie Mae was the nanny and Rosa was the cook. I never knew Rosa, but Fannie Mae was a big part of my life -- we visited her every time we went to see my grandmother and she and my grandmother were friends, though my grandmother still held her prejudices. Even after she no longer worked regularly for my family, my mom tried to give Fannie Mae jobs (like we took her the ironing -- 2 hours away!) to help support her. After my grandmother died, Fannie Mae was on her own and ended up in a nursing home. I found out from my dad that my mom's family paid for EVERYTHING for her -- she never went on Medicaid. They took care of her until her death two years ago. At Fannie Mae's funeral, most of the guests were my mother's family. And in my mom's house, there is a collection of family pictures in a frame, and Fannie Mae and Rosa are included. And I think I'm starting to understand why.
Thanks for sharing. I think I used to think everything was like the Help, but it's not.
Hi Lori, Josh, and Charlie!!
ReplyDeleteIt's so neat getting to read about your life and experiences in Africa! Thank you for opening up your life to us. We are praying for you and can imagine it must be very difficult to be so far from familiarity at times.
This summer Parker and I went down to Nicaragua and spent half the time with friends who have a vacation home down there, and the other half of the time doing mission work. While we were at their home, there was also a woman hired full time to cook, and you're right about that being a full time job! There was also a full-time person who cleaned the home and kept the yard up. I was amazed to see how long it takes to keep up a home without the conveniences in the states. It's so beautiful how you have really opened your lives to Bonard and Friedaline. I know they must be so thankful for you, as as you are for them!
I'm glad you have access to internet and are keeping us posted. I have one last scripture to share when I read I thought of you all: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you." Isaiah 43:1-2a
Sendings lots of love and hugs from SC!!
Joye & Parker