The "cons" of taking Charlie

You're taking baby Charlotte to Africa?! Yes.

Aren’t you scared?! Yes.

Pregnant women have lots of crazy dreams. For instance, when I was pregnant I dreamt that I gave birth to a fork which I promptly swaddled and rocked lovingly! I sincerely loved that piece of silverware.

I also had a dream that a band of rebels abducted my baby in Africa. They ripped her out of my arms and sped away in a truck. I woke up and my face was already drenched with tears. I can still see their jovial faces mocking me. I can still taste the dust from the road in my mouth. I can still feel my empty arms and the overwhelming pain in my chest.



I can still be brought to tears when I think of what could happen to my sweet little girl in Africa. It was just a dream, but the fear is real.

In our last blog, I talked about all of the positive things about taking a child around the world. This blog is about the other side- the darker side. I hate writing this. I hate thinking about it. Yet, I do all of the time.

Below are a list of “cons”/worries for our daughter-
• Malaria- it is not a question of “if” she will get it, but “when” she will get it
• How to educate Charlie- there are no schools for little kids and we may have to send her to another country for boarding school when she is in high school
• How do you pack years of clothes for a growing child?
• Loneliness- will there be other kids like her, will the local kids accept her?
• Will she be socially awkward when she comes back to the States?
• Driver ants- they kill whatever is in their way- even a large cow or a small child

• Rape- which can be prevalent in Africa, especially of children
• Healthcare- where do we take her when she is sick or when she needs immunizations?
• What will we feed her?
• How we will balance ministry with her needs?
• Potty training her to use a hole in the ground and a western toilet
• Being kidnapped and held for ransom or sold into the sex industry
• Missing out on being with her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins
• Illnesses- such as African sleeping sickness
• Will she hate us/ resent us for her upbringing?
• Will she turn against God because of her upbringing?
• The traumatic experience of being evacuated from a country because of civil unrest in the country
• Will she ever get used to being different and stared at?
• I could probably go on and on…


When I really look at this list, most of these worries are typical mom worries- will my child be safe, healthy, and accepted and will I raise him/her well? Some days, I want to lock my arms around my baby and never let her go. I do not want her to leave my embrace and face this scary world- whether it be in Africa or America.

The Greek word most translated into “worry” or “anxiety” in the Bible is merimnao- derived from merizo = "to divide;" and nous = "mind." Worry = having a divided mind. It is right to be concerned about our lives in Africa because it is unhealthy to live life naively. It is also unhealthy to think that I am alone with my concerns. When I think it is up to me to take care of my concerns, my concerns become worries or anxieties or phobias because instinctively I know that I am not in control. To counter act my lack of control, I try to be more controlling! If I give into my concern over not wanting Charlie to face the world and I keep her inside all of the time, she will become a scared recluse. I will inadvertently have done that which I feared the most- hurt her. I try to take control when I feel out of control and I am left with a divided mind and hence I worry.

The only way not to worry or have a divided mind is to admit I am not in control. Luckily, I have a God that is!

In Matthew 6:25- 34, Jesus says:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Having an undivided mind or a worry free mind means admitting that I am not in control, but that God is. God know what I need! God knows what Charlie needs.

So to answer your question- are you taking Charlie with you? Yes. Aren’t you scared? Yes, but God is in control.

Giving control over to God is easier said than done and let me tell you I am prone to worrying! But as a friend reminded me today, “God is patient with me!”