As I was cleaning up stuff today, I found a paper I had written in seminary about the stress of being a missionary. Whoa. What timing. I thought I should share this with those walking this journey with us, then I hesitated because I don't want to look like I am fishing for comments about "how brave we are" or to come off as pitiful martyrs. But I decided to be transparent and let you in on what being a missionary really looks like- beyond the smiling pictures and emotional videos we see at church. I hope it will help you know how to pray for us more specifically.
Here are my warnings- 1. This is a long post and there are no pictures. I mean it was a graduate paper after all- about 10 pages. 2. Mom don't read this (or anyone else prone to worrying about us). 3. Knowing all of this, we are still leaving on Monday because we trust God is in control and his children in C.A.R. are worth it.
Read on....
How beautiful on
the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who
bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to
Zion, “Your God reigns!" (Isaiah 52:7) While
the Church upholds the beauty of the feet carrying the Gospel message, it far
too often ignores the painful scars and sores acquired while walking in the
mission field. “Being a missionary can be very dangerous. . . . Overseas
ministry can be peppered with years of direct experience with an exposure to
crime, psychological intimidation, military and terrorist threats, kidnappings,
armed coercion, torture, rape and murder. Repeated robberies and home invasions
by burglars, soldiers, and terrorists are not uncommon.”
One research study revealed 94% of
missionaries reported being exposed to trauma while on mission and 86% of those
reported repeat exposures.
“Trauma, by
definition, involves experiences that overwhelm an individual’s ability to cope
and hence to make sense of certain life event.” The trauma
experienced by missionaries has been compared to the stress and combat endured
by
Vietnam
soldiers. International relief and development workers are listed alongside
fireman, police officers, and soldiers as having a high potential for Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Even
ordinary life events can be traumatic on the field. Far too many missionaries
are the “walking wounded,” thus closer attention needs to be paid to
missionaries, their families, and their care.
For
married missionaries, the marriage relationship often suffers greatly while
serving on the field. One of the first obstacles missionary couples must
overcome is relocating to a different country. The moving process has been
reported to be among the most traumatic experiences in a missionary’s life. The
couple faces new and different languages, cultures, and lifestyles. This
culture shock can have a profoundly negative effect. With relocation, couples
leave behind the familiar, including their support network- their family and
friends. High levels of stress occur during this transition which in turn
affects the marriage. For some couples working over seas, the adaptation period
takes a few months, yet there others take years to adapt. A study of 38
missionary couples found that the first term appointment (the time between
candidacy and the first furlough) produced the greatest level of stress in
marriage. Marital dissatisfaction increased more during this time than any
other time in the missionaries’ careers. However, the dissatisfaction did not
decrease during subsequent appointments- they did not return to their
pre-missionary baseline. Time was not enough to heal all wounds.While marriages may be jeopardized during
missionary service, they are extremely important in the effectiveness of the
missionary. Often, spouses are the only available support system while the
couple is adapting to a new and foreign lifestyle.
Men
and women experience the stressors of missionary life differently. Female
missionaries in particular report feeling stress during transition periods. Women
often overeat, lose interest in sex, and experience periods of crying,
headaches, fatigue, and depression when struggling to adjust to life abroad.
Men on the other hand do not exert the same severity of symptoms. Surveys show
this is partly due to the fact that the men are often the ones engaged in the
full time ministry and thus they temper their stress with the satisfaction from
their work. Data
shows women may not be at more risk for experiencing trauma than men, but they
are more prone to permanent change resulting from the stress and trauma of
mission work.
Isolation
and confinement, both social and cultural, seems to affect women far more than
it does men.
Burnout may be
higher for women than men due to the roles they feel they must take on. Women
face unique cross cultural stressors due to the multiplicity of roles they
assume and the constant changing of those roles. Female missionaries report
stress in representing the whole religion of Christianity to the country they
reside. Such representation causes pressure to fulfill unrealistic role
expectations. A major influence on role stress is the differing expectations of
the host country from the woman’s country of origin. Roles for women may be
limited in countries that hold traditional gender views. For example female
missionaries in Islamic countries will only be allowed to minister to other
women. This can be particularly frustrating to women who are highly educated
and trained, yet limited to the roles they are allowed to fulfill based on
gender and not ability. Role strain for women occurs not only while
ministering, but also in their homes. There is a tension in missionary women
between family demands and their work. Women correlate the amount of
satisfaction in their marriage with the amount of freedom they had in choosing
their roles whether it be staying at home or actively working in the field.
Missionary wives ranked “spousal support” of their role choices as one of the
most important factor to marriage well-being.
Missionary
life not only affects husbands and wives, it also has a great impact on the
rest of the family. The birth of a baby is one of the most stressful events in
the lives of any couple. This experience can be exacerbated while serving in a
foreign land. Couples entering parenthood during their first term will
experience significant parenting related stress. One pregnant missionary in
Romania faced an impossible decision: have her
baby in the unsafe Romanian hospitals, cross the border to
Hungary where the healthcare was somewhat
better, have her baby at home which is illegal in
Romania,
or leave her ministry to travel back to the
United States. For the birth of her
first child, the missionary and her husband opted to go to
Hungary. She was unable to communicate
effectively with the staff because she did not speak the language. This caused
a great deal of stress and she was unable to have the kind of birth she
desired. She felt she had no control over her body or the situation. For the
birth of her second child, with much distress she felt she had to leaver her
ministry and travel back to the
US.
This is just one example among many of the stressors facing new parents.
“Coping
with the task of adjusting to both parenting and a new culture can be presumed to
be very taxing for missionary couples, and parenting habits that become relied
upon at this stage will have a large impact on the emotional health of
missionary children.”
Some
studies suggest that the transition to the mission field is slightly easier for
families with older children because they do not have the added stress of
adjusting to parenthood while on assignment. But parents with older children
face other obstacles. One of the most stressful periods for missionary parents
in the raising of their children is the adolescent phase. In addition to the
normal stressors of adolescence, growing up in a foreign environment brings
extra challenges. The teens are faced with two models of adulthood- that of
their parents and that of the host environment. Parents struggle with the
proper guidance of their children as they help navigate them toward becoming
adults. Whatever developmental stage missionary children are in, it is
extremely important to safeguard them. Research has shown that men who do not
adequately balance their family life with their ministry life end up damaging
their families. Wives and children experience frustration and depression if the
husband/father’s first priority is his ministry and not his family. Often the
damage is not seen immediately. Missionary
stress has even been linked with dissociative disorders in adult missionary
kids.
Other
factors such as finances and age affect the well being of missionaries and
their families. Missionaries often make extreme financial sacrifices. While it
is essential for husbands and wives to be independent of their extended family,
as Genesis 2:24 says for a man to leave his father and mother, missionaries
often rely on the financial support of family, friends, and churches.
Frustration is a natural result of such a dependency. Also, there is an
unrealistic and unhealthy expectation in the minds of missionaries that they
must live the most aesthetic life possible. Adhering to strict aesthetic
guidelines can not only be stifling to a family, it can also become a hindrance
to their ministry. Couples with children feel more pressure when it comes to
finances. Missionary parents often worry that they are not providing enough for
their children’s needs.
As far as age is concerned, missionaries under the age of forty experience more
stress than their older peers, are less likely to extend their commitment, are
more vulnerable to trauma and burnout, and have higher frequency and intensity
of emotional exhaustion. The data suggests that it is not a matter of maturity
as much as it is a matter of difference in generations.
If missionaries
manage to endure the inevitable stressors of relocation, marriage conflict, children,
financial strains, and age, there still lies the potential that which is
uncontrollable- trauma. “Traumatic incidents are particularly common in
unstable socioeconomic environments marked by prevalent poverty and high crime
rates. Politically unstable countries have a reduced ability to enforce law and
order and, therefore, may have higher rates of burglary, robbery, kidnapping, carjacking,
rape, assault, civil unrest, or war.”
These unstable socioeconomic climates are often where missionaries go to meet
the unreached. Over 200 missionaries in
West Africa
were surveyed and 91% reported that they had experienced at least one severe
traumatic event while working overseas. The traumatic events included sudden
and immediate evacuations, serious medical illness, exposure to fighting, civil
unrest or war, violent robberies, and threats to family members or close
friends. Overall, 20.6% of the missionaries surveyed qualified for Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder or Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
Surprisingly,
the severity of the stressor has not been correlated with the severity of
stress. Studies have shown that non-catastrophic events have caused more
permanent damage than catastrophic events. One study found that over a third of
missionaries studied with traumatic stress related to their missionary
endeavors had continuing symptoms ten years after leaving their position.
Trauma
can destroy the physical, mental, and spiritual well being of many dedicated
missionaries.
Irvine quotes one
missionary’s experience with traumatic stress, “There’s a deep place inside of
me that knows what it is like to feel incredible pain. A friend with whom I’ve
shared much described it as having my soul raped.”
Amazingly,
missionaries have proved to be quite resilient in regards to the overwhelming
amount of stressors and traumatic events they face. Research done by Bagley
reveals missionaries in fact have a greater resistance to trauma than the
average person from
North America.
Missionaries
may be less susceptible to post traumatic stress than other people due to their
pre-established coping skills. Since missionaries choose their occupation with
the anticipation of hardships, they have a better ability to adapt to the
challenges. Missionary coping ability may also be related to their faith. Missionaries
tend to have a higher acceptance of risk and suffering for the sake of a
purpose to which they are strongly committed.
They also have a greater capacity for finding good in the bad. Two thirds of
the missionaries analyzed by
Irvine
identified positive outcomes from the trauma and stress they endured while
serving. One participant in the study said he experienced a deeper trust in
God’s sovereignty and a greater awareness of God’s presence even in the midst
of suffering.
However resilient
missionaries may be, frequent and repeated stress may overwhelm their coping
skills.
Therefore, member care is extremely important for missionaries. Member care is
a term describing the efforts of missionary agencies, human resource agents,
and mental health professionals working together to meet the needs of
missionaries. While the church has had a tenuous relationship with
psychotherapy, more and more missionary organizations are providing mental
health services to missionaries, seeing it as a “Biblical responsibility.”
The
practice may be growing, yet the majority of missionaries are still an
“unreached people group.” One study showed only 10% of the missionaries
questioned received any kind of stress management training before starting
their missionary journey.
Usually only missionaries in severe emotional or physical distress receive
attention. Those that do no meet the extreme requirements are often left to
care for themselves. If they are unable to recover from the trauma on their own,
many missionaries feel powerless, shamed, inadequate, and angry. Feelings of
moral and emotional weakness are also common. According to Grant, many
missionaries in such scenarios look to dissipate the pain by engaging in
various addictions. “Addictions serve several purposes. They provide
predictable, consistent, private, and readily available ways to alter
distressing and uncontrollable feelings and thoughts. The best addictions are
those which are hard for others to discover, e.g., alcoholism, compulsive
masturbation, as well as workaholism, and codependency.”
The
absence of a caring and understanding environment is often more damaging than
the trauma itself.
There have been many proposed plans for the
prevention and treatment of the stress and trauma amongst missionaries,
unfortunately the research on effective treatment plans has not been as plentiful
as the research on the cause of the stress and trauma. Grant criticizes
referring missionaries to outside agencies unfamiliar with the missionary
lifestyle.
However,
research by Rosik and Richards has shown missionaries actually prefer professionals
not related to their sending organization because they are perceived as less
biased. They are also more assured of the confidentiality of the sessions.The same missionaries reported
dissatisfaction with the support provided by their organizations. There was an
overall sense of lack of concern on the organizations’ part. The missionaries
felt more emphasis placed on the agenda of the agencies and interests rather than
on their well being. The same study revealed missionaries highly favored
pastoral visits as a form of member care, reporting pastoral visits from their
home church demonstrated a real concern and love for them. Regardless
of who provides care, treatment needs to include a safe and trusting place
where missionaries can discuss the traumatic events and their feelings. This
provides awareness for the missionary and allows them to make sense of what has
happened. Empowerment should be the focus of care. Grant recommends a five tier
approach to treatment: 1. regular debriefing and renewal processes, 2.
experientially oriented group work to help missionaries connect with their
hearts and bodies, 3. ongoing support groups, 4. adequate preparation for
missionaries to be able to identify and prevent Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,
and 5. a development of spirituality of missions not based on martyrdom.
Missionaries are
exposed to stressors that go beyond the normal work environment. They face new,
unpredictable work situations and an around the clock work schedule. In
addition, they have the pressure of representing God. Without proper care,
stress and family dissatisfaction can result in missionaries leaving the field.
In 1994, the cost to the agency per family that left their appointment was
$60,000. No doubt the number has increased in the last 15 years. The emotional
cost to the family is exponentially higher.
The
first term appointment is critical for missionary well-being. It has been
identified as the key time for mental health care. Missionaries entering
parenthood and guiding their children during critical years need to be closely
monitored. Men and women may experience missionary life and need tailored
interventions. Both will require intense help in times of crisis and trauma.
The feet of those who bring the good news may be beautiful, but we should
always be mindful of Proverbs 6:28, a man cannot walk on hot coals without his
feet being burned.
Frauke C Schafer.; et al. "Traumatic events and
posttraumatic stress in cross-cultural mission assignments." Journal of
Traumatic Stress 20.4 (Aug. 2007)530
